“One who has been touched by grace will no longer look on those who stray as ‘those evil people’ or ‘those poor people who need our help.’ Nor must we search for signs of ‘loveworthiness.’ Grace teaches us that God loves because of who God is, not because of who we are.”
– Phillips Brooks
God loves you!
How does that phrase hit you? Does it lift your heart in praise? Or does it sicken your heart where only a forced smile hides your broken heart?
Why is that?
God calls each Christian to love his neighbor as himself. Christ says that the sign of a true disciple is how he will love one another.
Yet, how many of us find Christians to be the most unloving group of people in our life? I have talked to many people who will not step inside a church due to the lack of love they felt from Christians.
The result of this is that people turn away from God. Church starts to be a bitter taste in our mouth. Christian phrases feel like irritating insects. Bible reading, which once was a joy, is likened to euthanizing the family pet, because your spirit cannot handle the pain of seeing what you once loved struggle for life.
Is this really the outcome of experiencing God’s love?
Bait-and-switch
It is election season. You carefully wade through the news articles, social media posts, and debates to select the candidate you desire. You hear their promises that will directly benefit you. You even get an opportunity to ask questions face to face! Their political plan sounds solid, and all it costs you is your financial support of so much per month till they get elected. Without hesitation, a check is written or a card is swiped in faith in the fulfillment of this candidate’s promises.
We laugh at such things, because we know politicians have a tendency to bait-and-switch their voters. Not all of them do, but we have plenty of stories of that happening. We shake our head at the many people who fall for these tactics.
Yet, we do the same thing with the church.
We promise love. We promise freedom. We promise a family. We promise security and belonging. We promise grace and mercy. We promise benevolence. We promise understanding. We promise to stand alongside our brothers and sisters in Christ. We even will give a hearty, “Amen!” to these things.
Yet, amens do no produce actions. Instead, we really promise an image to uphold. We promise a list to make you free. We promise judgment and suspicion. We promise patronizing and degrading comments if you disagree with anything. We promise ostracizing you if you do not meet our terms that we have cherry-picked for our own betterment.
Certainly sounds like the church today – always baiting people to enter and switching the Gospel for our traditions and images. Jesus condemned this as he cleansed the temple calling it a den of thieves (Matthew 21:13).
The bait-and-switch burnout causes so much unbelief and abandonment. Many of us came to Jesus and church ready for healing, freedom, acceptance, love… and all we found was a chain of slavery with W.W.J.D branded into the iron.
And many people leave the church turning their back on God since the Gospel of love only turned out to be deception once the worship fog and light show dissipated.
God’s love used as a bait-and-switch just like the Pharisees and just like cults.
Facing the pain
It hurts. I know. I’ve been there as I have been shunned by church members, gossiped about, disowned by Christian parents, dismissed by pastors, texts for help and wisdom unread, and Christian friends letting go. It hurts.
It hurts when cries for financial help are met with, “God will provided.” It hurts when pleas for understanding and needs for companionship are met with, “Trust God. He knows your pain. Someone will come.” It hurts when restless struggles are met with restless to-do lists.
It hurts. And in this hurt we believe we have seen the love of God. We believe we have experienced the love of Jesus. But, we have not.
When we face the pain and call it for what it is, it is not unconditional. It is not grace-filled. It is not restful. Facing this hurt allows us to see that we see a counterfeit, conditional love. Think about it. The God’s love presented at the start of your first visit to a church is unconditional, open, and free. But after awhile, it is switched to a conditional love based on rule following, standard keeping, political positions, and a host of other things.
It is in the church’s conditional, counterfeit compassion we see so many walking away from faith. I know deep inside you is still an ember of faith weakening. But, face the pain of this spiritual abuse. Call it out for what it is – Not the love of God.
God’s love revealed
So what is God’s love?
It is how he relates to us (John 3:16). God loves us so much that he gave. It doesn’t say God gave to certain people. The Bible just says out of God’s love God gave Jesus. No conditions or rules to follow in order to get Jesus. It is in his love that our relationship with God blossoms and grows (Hebrews 4:16). In order for us to experience grace and mercy, we must have love be the center of our relationship. If it is not, then it is conditional.
God’s love is restful (Matthew 11:28). Christ calls to us to bring our burdens to him, so he can give us rest and a light load for the journey ahead of us. This shows that God cares for us as he listens and wants our burdens on himself (I Peter 5:7). It is in his love we find the restoration of our soul and wants met (Psalm 23:1-2). When the love we experience at church becomes a heavy burden of restless worry, then we know it is not from God’s love. A task horse is loved until it can no longer perform, but a child is loved just by resting in who that child is and who he belongs to.
God’s love is fearless (I John 4:18). How often do we fear punishment? How much do we fear someone’s opinion? Too many times a day! Yet, God’s love pushes away our fear. We can clearly know we have not experienced God’s love when we fear what the church will say or do dictates our life. Being unafraid means you can be fully open, vulnerable, and live as you were created to be. Being unafraid means you can come to Jesus freely to touch his garments (Mark 5:25-34).
God’s love is the mark of his disciples (John 13:35). How do we know we are his disciples? Is it from our political positions? Or our constant keeping of standards? Or our what we are against? Or how we keep our Christian image shiny? No! God’s love is the mark of a believer and first part of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). God shows his love today through his believers. He shows he relates to us, how he gives rests, and how he casts out fear by allowing believers to show the same thing. If these three simple things are not a part of a believers life, then their faith is a fraud.
God’s love is so much more than these things, but it is a place to start. Ultimately, God’s love is revealed in Jesus (John 1:14). We can beat the drum of holiness all we want, but unless our holiness is founded in love, then we are nothing more than a clanging cymbal needing to be silenced.
Belief after love
I know that once we have been hurt by the church and Christians, it is very difficult to believe in God. We experience their love as having more plastic in them than a Barbie doll. It is fake. It is not the real thing. We would never want a relationship with a fake doll resembling a human when we can have a relationship with a real human.
Our faith is the same. We can still believe in God after experiencing the fake love we see plaguing the church today. It starts with acknowledging our pain and hurt. We need to call out our pain and give it a name – Counterfeit Love! Then, we need to search Scripture for what it says who God really is. If Martin Luther can do it to spark the reformation, then think about what we can do when we search the Scriptures. Then, begin letting your mind be filled with how God wants to relate to you and start slowly. It doesn’t mean going to church right away. It may mean finding a quiet place to be with God on Sunday and build up to going back to church. It may mean starting as small as getting a new Bible to start a whole new way of relating to God in his true love.
It is step by step. God knows where you are at. He wants a relationship with you based on his love. It is easy to see how the church has a tainted love. But, look to the Bible to see how God’s heart will go on and on for you.
Churches, how are you showing God’s true love? Is it conditional? Is it filled with us versus them? Is it about positions and standards? Is it about disowning, shunning, and ostracizing till repentance happens? Then it is not unconditional, Godly love. In fact, we can say that your faith is based on on image more than the mark of love. You may want to workout your salvation if love is not the mark of your faith.
There is too much hate and hurt in the world. God’s love is what heals. Let us grow our faith in God by still believing after the fake love we experienced. Let’s move into understanding God’s love that gave us the Gospel and a brand new life to thrive in.
Do you believe in God after love? Difficult to say yes, but take it one step at a time, and you will see that fire of faith return.
Braced By Truth 