“You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you.” – C.S. Lewis
Has anyone ever tripped you? Walking down the school hallway with heavy books, and “wham!” Your gaze goes from the hall to the floor. Books scatter like roaches across the floor. The snickering and staring flushes your face, so you get up and keep going. If you approach the person who tripped you, they usually say, “It was a joke,” or “I didn’t mean any harm by it.”
We hate when we are in a situation which embarrasses us or rips the rug out from under us. We feel used or the butt of a joke. Our trust is broken, and our faith in humanity vanishes.
How many of us have experienced a spiritual version of this scenario? We are led on to believe things. Only to find out; we were lied to.
I want to look at a verse where Jesus warns us about leading people on that leads others to go astray.
Christ’s heavy millstone
In Mark 9:42, Jesus says, “But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to fall away —it would be better for him if a heavy millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea.”
This verse always gives me chills. I have usually heard this passage preached on in the context of hurting children in some way (i.e. pedophilia). With all the sexual abuse issues in the church today, this verse sticks out as a warning to anyone who tries to mess with children. Or is it?
Mark 9:42 shows up in the dialogue where the disciples are arguing about a man who was casting out demons and was not apart of the group (Mark 9:38-42). The passage also shows up in Matthew 18:6. The context is Matthew 18:1-9. Here Jesus brings a child into the group and talks about having the faith of a child. The other passage is Luke 17:1-4. Here Jesus talks about offenses and those who cause offenses.
I find it fascinating that many sermons use this passage to talk about offending children or causing believers to go worldly. But is that the correct interpretation?
We have to remember the cultural context. This is not Paul talking to Gentiles, or Jesus talking about offending children. This passage is directed to a group of Jewish people and the disciples. The Jewish culture is highly religious. The Pharisees and Sadducees are the religious leaders, and the Mosaic Law is the law of the land. People are well versed in what worldliness is.
So what is Jesus getting to in this passage?
The theme of the context gives us the clue: faith of a child. Each context is surrounded by the theme of faith. The faith of a child is belief like a child. The way a child throws themselves into their belief and how their whole world becomes about that is the faith of a child.
The warning of causing a little one to stumble needs to fit in this context.
Therefore Jesus is saying… If someone uses the child-like faith of a believer in spiritual abuse while preaching a gospel or holding onto things that are not from Christ, then that person should have a millstone tied around their neck and thrown into the sea.
Jesus is warning church leaders and believers to not make faith gullible by leading others into spiritual abuse.
The religious abuse in the new testament
How were people being led astray in the New Testament?
Through the burdens of the religious leaders. Jesus rebukes them for this in Mark 7:1-13. The religious leaders put their human rules and traditions over the Scriptures. They made a relationship with God about the rules to follow and the image the Jewish people frustrated themselves into keeping.
The rule keeping became the life and death of the Jewish people. Their whole world balanced on their adherence to the religious leaders. You were not a good person unless you did or said or looked or whatever the religious leaders wanted. God was not the center of the Jewish faith. Man’s traditions were. Control and image could sum up the religious abuse of this time.
Religious abuse today
You might say, “But we know better. We are saved by grace through faith. We do not have to do works!”
Great, biblical sentiment… but, do we really practice it?
How do we determine if someone is a “good Christian”? Is it through their faith in Jesus as stated in Romans 10:9 and Ephesians 2:8-9? Or is it through their adherence to our standards, rules, and images?
If it is the latter, then we are committing the same spiritual abuse as the religious leaders during the New Testament.
Spiritual abuse in my life
I use to be a apart of a Christian community steeped in the Independent Fundamental Baptist world. I went to the Mecca University for “good Christians” – Bob Jones University.
The only thing I knew about this school was there was a lot of rules, but my parents said it would be good for me. So, I went. I thought it would be a community of mature Christians who could straighten me out and help me grow.
Yet, as time went on, things changed. The rule book was just over 100 pages. The stress of wearing the right outfit, listening to the right music, attending the right church, being at the right event at the right time overwhelmed me. Within my first few weeks I already received a lot of demerits for swearing at a roommate (story involves my insecurity about my disability). When I met with the dean of men, I was told to fix my rebellious attitude in order to fit in better.
I tried my best. The rules became like Scripture to me. My parents told me that if they say to jump I should ask how high. Inside, though, there were things I needed to grapple with that this system smothered with fear.
I knew I was same-sex attracted. I had no idea what to do. In chapel, they encouraged us to come forward and be transparent for help. I did that. Little did I know, help was only to help them. I was given a book to read, told to pray and read Scripture. I was also told to get rid of any “gay inspiration” in my life. This came from the music on my computer to even clothes. Further, my life was now watched for who I hung out with. I felt like a freak on top of having a disability.
Sermon after sermon told me how evil I was. I even heard sermons and teachings about how disabilities were a result of the fall and can be a result of sin. Guess how I was treated after?
Suspicion and paranoia ruled my life. I was under suspicion for everything. I even had to prove my disability every semester; just in case I was lying about it. If I got an email to meet with the dean of men, I was never told what it was about. Panic attacks riddled me like bullets from a machine gun. I had nightmares of being watched and being put on trial in front of the entire student body.
My faith was about going to the right church, reading Scripture like a workhorse, having the right image, and staying under the radar. I didn’t stay under the radar well with questioning things, but that’s another story.
When I graduated from there with my masters, I was in a terrible shape. Faith was about my works and image. Other Christians were seen as suspicious if they were not like me. I never took a class in how to love people, but I took many in how to prove my way was right.
As for being same-sex attracted, I was told getting married to a spiritually sound woman would fix me. Put off same-sex attraction, and put on opposite-sex attraction. Hide your struggle. It will never end well if people find out.
Inside, I was angry, hurt, and full of self-hatred. It was preached in chapel so many times that no one truly hates themselves, and the self-hatred in me was just a way to get attention. God would not love me fully unless I was fully surrendered to him and celebrating victories. The struggle of sin was seen as test of your salvation. I was torn up so much inside; no wonder I blew up at people. It was not me resisting God’s work. It was me frustrated and stumbling under the weight of spiritual abuse.
More could be said, but fast-forward to today. I still claim to be a Christian, but going to church, reading my Bible, and any of the Christian things I used to do hurt. Even if they are good things to do, the stain of spiritual abuse taints the beauty of the gospel from God. I struggle with mental health and other things just from a group that calls themselves Christian and that they had the best for me.
This is what it means to be led astray.
A Warning driving us to christ
Christ gave us this wild and scary picture of someone drowning over leading someone astray. It is not about leading children astray. It is about taking the innocence of a child-like faith and turning into what the religious leaders did to the Jewish people.
The harm and scars this type of abuse creates takes years and sometimes a lifetime to work out of. Finding grace in the shatter glass of our faith is difficult. It is in those moments we need to be gracious to ourselves. We may not be ready to go to church, but can we sit in a coffee shop and read one Psalm? Can we continue to share our story to work the poison out of our system? Can we set up boundaries to make sure it does not happen again? There is no quick fix. It is one day at a time.
When you hear story after story of people spending thousands of dollars in therapy trying fix what was promised as Christ’s freedom, then you know it is spiritual abuse.
So, we must lead with grace. We must love people. We must be like Christ. We cannot use our human traditions, standards, and images to control people and expect to escape this warning.
Spiritual abuse is real. Let survivors speak, and let’s take our millstone and use it to make bread for our tables of healing.
Braced By Truth 